Monthly Archives: July 2016

A Grandmother looks back at post-partum depression

River Bed Road

Graphic Design by Artist Leah WelchIllustration by Leah Welch

Throwing in another load of laundry- I wonder how much will get done today.  I finish some overnight dishes that have accumulated in the sink. Watching  the flickering baby monitor poised precariously over the mess, I ponder the task of emptying the diaper genie.

The baby’s wail is heard above the running water. Drying my hands off quickly, I glance at the closed office door. A muffled business call can be heard in full swing. Going into the baby’s room, I am greeted by a wet, drooling, smiling five month old boy.

. . . . . not my baby, my laundry, my dishes, or even my house, but this is where He has me growing and learning right now.  Whether 25 or 55, my needs remain the same.  God-confidence becomes necessary and purposely overshadows my independence.

The office door swings open as the call ends.  My daughter…

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The Blue Chair

River Bed Road

blue chair

“Indeed, He who watches over  Israel will neither slumber or sleep.” Psalm 121:4

Do you feel convinced when you are unable to care for yourself God will send a rescue?  Do you know  His presence never leaves you?

I stood in a holy place not long ago; a sacred place where you feel God hover. Your steps are gingerly placed inside His steps and the path is true, straight like an arrow.  His breath is on the nape of your neck and you feel His whispered still, small voice in your ear like a heartbeat.

Her name is Roseline (changed for this story) and she had a very large tumor removed by a kind and skilled surgeon.  It was done in a hard place with limited  resources at hand. The surgical suites were part of a local clinic well hidden behind an ancient aqueduct and a high wall recently made…

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Coming to Terms With Depression

S. Bradford Long

photo-1448546120959-a4b0e3dd910dI’ve spent the past year recovering from, and coming to terms with, a depressive episode that happened at the beginning of last year. All depression alters you, but there are some encounters that reach so deeply into your core that they leave you permenantly, utterly changed. My breakdown of 2015 was such an episode, and I’ve spent the following months trying to come to grips with the experience, and the person I’ve become. I’ve spent the past year trying to fathom the experience – what it was, how to describe it, and what happened.

The experience of depression is like the inverse of a profound, mystical experience. Instead of being immersed in an impenetrable light, reaching towards and touching the divine, you are plunged into complete darkness. You are buried underground, deep within some unknown part of yourself. Extreme depression is like a possession – something dark and infinitely alien…

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The Letdown: Why Do I Feel Bad at the End of Good Days


The Letdown

There might be a very good reason you feel down after big days. And there is a good chance is has less to do with reality and more to do with how your mind is processing reality. Don’t get me wrong, it is a real feeling you confront, but it might not be based on reality. Let me tell you why…

Big days are different than normal days. They are usually defined by increased excitement and increased sensory input or even sensory overload. For example, have you ever gone to a big Fourth of July celebration? Did you go to a big party with lots of people, games and fireworks? Did you see bright flashes of light and hear large bangs all around you? Did you stay up longer and experience more than your average day?

If some or all of these experiences happened, there is a good…

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[I wrote this poem a couple years ago…rediscovered it today. I still really like it.]

by Doug Bursch

Today I’ve been feeling sad, heart heavy, soul weary.  I presume I could find a reason for the feelings, but it seems to me that the feeling arrived before I could ascribe to it cause.

Some people cast out sadness like a demon.  They pray against sadness as if it were an attack against God’s purpose for the day.  This may be true on occasion.

But today my sadness feels less like an attack and more like a familiar song.  A song that gives me permission.  Permission to stop, rest and listen.  Permission to weep, permission to wonder, permission to sit bewildered, naked and unable.

Unable to fix it, unable to figure it out, unable to make my offering worthy.

Sad days are notoriously unproductive.  They sidetrack me from the tasks…

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God Never Settles – exposing patriarchy’s nonsense about women

Tim's Blog - Just One Train Wreck After Another

A woman read one of my posts on the Bible’s examples of God using women and men both to lead and teach, and she left a comment that said,

“I don’t know if you’ve heard this before but I’ve been taught that the reason God allowed Deborah to lead Israel in Judges 4-5 is because there was no man willing to take charge. God had to settle for a woman instead.”

Yes, I’ve heard people say that. There is not a shred of evidence in the book of Judges to support the position, but people say it anyway. It’s the only option for those who ascribe to a patriarchal view of faith. They have to explain away all mentions in the Bible of God building his kingdom by way of women teaching and leading. (See Silencing Women – the guaranteed way for men to stay in control.)

But let’s take…

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